March 21, 2001

I used to be very impressed by magic as a kid. As I grew I up I continued to be amazed by the power magic had to capture and lead the imagination of the people watching the show. However, as I really grew up I came to understand that inherently within every magic trick is in fact a trick or set of mechanics which allows the trick to be performed. For example, there are two women in the box that is sawed in half. The trick looks like magic until someone explains that the legs and head are two different people.

Magic is used in many different ways within the human experience to explain anything that people don't understand. However, once the mechanism of the supposed magic is explained the illusion and mystery disappear. The same can be applied to human beings and their relationships with other people. Have you ever met someone who you instantly liked and had a great rapport with? Some people describe this type of connection as a chemistry or magic that instantly appears between two people. Neuro-linguistic programming studies this type of behavior and explains the mechanisms people use to connect and subsequently annoy one another. Body language, breathing patterns, word choices and eye movements all play a part in the magical rapport people have with one another.

So what is the point of all this magic talk? Well, the amazing dynamic of 160 minor leaguers in a close environment lends itself to some quick lessons in the "magic" of interpersonal relationships. For some people, it seems unexplainable why people get along or don't get along. But in reality, these relationships exist because of a strict set of inevitabilities that Neuro-Linguistic programming can explain. So how do the players balance hypersensitive egos and over-extended masculinity? Watching players and keeping in mind the biomechanical and emotional inevitabilities show some interesting behavior mechanisms that crop up as a result.

These behavior mechanisms are used in order to navigate through the choppy waters in the locker room. Most guys play it safe and talk about strippers and golf. Eventually though there are only so many times you can tell a story that starts with "Yeah and then on the 16th green I two putted and lost $1.50."

Perhaps my favorite behavior mechanism is the innocent and idiotic arguing that occurs between players. The only way a lot of these guys can relate and talk to each other is in the form of another competitive contest about things that don't relate to baseball and don't have too serious of an air. In this way players can pretend to relate to each other without actually getting personal and putting their own egos at risk.

So I thought I would share with you the most ridiculous and entertaining arguments and theories I have heard and actually talked about this past week. This week I had discussion about theories ranging from the non-existence theory to motorcycle start-ups. Cody Sunbeck tried to convince me that motorcycles start-up with their names. For example, Harley Davidson sounds like someone saying "Harley Davidson" when the key is turned. The theory holds for Honda, Mitsubishi etc. I tried to convince Matt Steele that he didn't exist the other day in batting practice and then later in the locker room people were arguing over whether or not cavemen used toilet paper. Some people thought they didn't need to because their diets were so natural like an animal, and others were angry at the notion.

Perhaps my most interesting theory could be called the Katie Holmes project. I had heard a story about an interview that Derek Jeter gave in a magazine talking about Mariah Carey. A week later, Mariah's agent called Derek Jeter and they set up a date. Jeter was only in Double-A at the time, so it seems fitting that even if the story isn't true, it is a pretty good idea anyway. I thought up the Katie Holmes project one day while riding on the stationary bike for 20 minutes.

The Katie Holmes project can be explained as follows: Katie Holmes is a fairly popular movie star who should be dating a professional athlete. My plan was going to be to write about Katie Holmes like a huge fan in my journal every week until Baseball America decided to kick me off the magazine. Then I would go to another magazine with this story and get some good press coverage and then the ball would be rolling and agents would start calling. There are a few kinks in the plan, but I think once I got a phone call everything would be ironed out. The problem lies in the fact that I am not a huge fan of Katie Holmes' work and therefore would only want to date her for her personality. Since I don't know her I have to base a lot of what I know on secondhand information. I don't think anyone is as good as she sounds secondhand.

The only problem with this plan is the end in which I have to get kicked off of Baseball America. I like writing for Baseball America so I guess I won't initiate the Katie Holmes project yet. But I tell you if they drop my pay from zero dollars a year to writing for free I might just reconsider this whole idea.

You can contact Will Rosellini at Rumi54@aol.com.